We were 5 when we first met. We had Kindergarten together and our moms actually met first as they both had to write our full names on every single crayola crayon they made us bring to school. I don't actually remember meeting you but we were just suddenly in each others lives. We had countless sleepovers because after kindergarten we never had another class together until we were going on 17 and in high school. We still stayed close all throughout going to different junior highs and we came back together for high school and we were friends with all the same people who eventually formed our little group. But then something happened, it all changed Senior year of high school. You suddenly stopped talking to me and wouldn't answer me if i tried to talk to you. When i was finally able to talk to you just the two of us i asked why you were avoiding me. You told me that you no longer saw me as a best friend or even as a friend anymore. I was shocked, 13 years had gone by with the two of us in each others lives and it was over just like that. I called you at home after school and we had our first fight. I hung up on you and we never spoke again. You probably don't remember this but i tried to call you back so many times after that and you never picked up. I called your house and you still didn't answer. I was angry. So incredibly angry, you effectively kicked me out of my friend group and we'd all been together since freshman year. i was half a semester away from graduating and i had nothing left at that school. I was lucky that i was able to fall in with another set of friends in that time period otherwise who knows what could have happened. i was depressed, unsure of what was going to go on in my life because the one constant that i thought was going to be there wasn't there anymore.
It's been 5 ish years since we fought and stopped talking. In college i tried to fit in but i kept finding myself isolated from the people i could be friends with. I shut myself out and fell into an obsession hard. That obsession helped me drive my own friends away and we never recovered from it. It was after breaking that obsession that i came back into drawing. I remember finding some old art i had made for you of a Sailor Nebula and Sailor Galaxy and i felt such a pain i'd never experienced. Sailor Moon was OUR THING growing up. We'd always play it outside and its some of my fondest memories... For a time i used Sailor Moon to keep "you" alive, our memories anyways. so i began to draw sailor moon stuff again. i got seriously into art and got back on deviantart after a several year hiatus... I found my art idols and i created a senshi based on myself who was strong and independent.
She radiated everything i wanted to be, everything i wasn't when we were friends. And let me tell you something. That Senshi has given me more friends than i can count. its because of her that i have all my new friends.
So thank you. Thank you for breaking my heart and tearing me down. I used to hate you for leaving but honestly now, with all the new things that i've done without you in my life i'm glad you did it. I'm sorry i wasn't a better friend to you or the kind of friend that you needed back then. I've changed, and so have you and that is fine. I am who i am now and for me that is good enough.
So Vix i'm still hung up on you after all of these years, but its okay because even though it's been years i'm slowly letting you go. because i'm Stronger now. Who knows maybe someday you'll see it too, but for right now i have to keep on the path i've set out on.Journal Skin by Meinona